Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Day 48 - Grade A moron

That would be me.

Two days in a row an error I made has caused the wrath to be taken out on other people and that makes me feel like a grade A moron and a general danger to society.

Errors will happen but I prefer the wrath be directed at me as I deserve it. People have been beyond gracious but I still feel like an idiot.

What makes matter worse is I can't go home, I can't hide or comfort myself in my house with perhaps a glass of wine or beer, or even leave early or go for a walk. Oh no I don't fly home till tomorrow and I'm stuck in camp. The problem with this is you are at work the whole time. You're having breakfast, lunch, dinner and after work activities with your co-workers. Normally this isn't so bad but not when you feel like public enemy number one.

My friend/coworker has had a bad few days herself so we hid together for a few hours doing actual work. Then for the rest of the day I pretended to be in conference call. I got to camp, ate dinner and went straight to my room. I'm in avoidance mode and need to lick my wounds.

Called my Dad who asked if I was crying, I wasn't and then he changed the subject. I actually appreciated that.

As I don't have access to alcohol food will do after all I'm an emotional eater so I went in that direction instead - knowing full well this was not the answer and now I feel like even more crap. So I took a shower, filled my water bottle and put my pjs on.

I'm now trying to just suck it up princess, learn from it and move on.

Add to my crappy mood the return of my "roommate" who I share a bathroom with. She sniffles a lot (this has been going on for 4 months now) and goes to the bathroom a lot. Our rooms are seperated by a bathroom. Last night I tried to wait her out as she unpacked and rummaged around. She was quiet about 2/3 into Biggest Loser. Then I went to sleep as it's easier for me to sleep when she's settled then be woken up by a flushing toilet. I still have no idea who got voted off and will track that down as soon as I finish typing this.

On the good side got a raise and a really nice bonus today that will allow me to get a second laptop to take to site as the netbook is o.k but when I need a personal computer for 4 days of my week it's not quite up to snuff.

Of course the glowing comments came after the first mistake and right before the second mistake. My boss actually thought it was funny when I said I was a danger to society after the second mistake and offered to have a beer on my behalf at the hockey game. Gee thanks. I guess the good thing when I make a mistake is I immediately confess to pretty much anyone who'll listen.

Alas tomorrow is a new day and in 24 hours I will be home.


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