Friday, June 03, 2011

Day 12 - 15 - Old habits die hard

Sorry about being MIA, this tends to happen for two reasons. The first being busy and there was a part of that and the second being I've fallen off the wagon - well that happened too.
Tuesday started as a good day it was long I had meeting almost till 8pm and had to deal with some drama between co-workers. I'm sure I mentioned before I'm in HR so every so often it's a bit like being a social worker, kindergarden teacher or a referee. That day felt more like kindergarden teacher. That resulted in grabbing cookies at the end of the day when I had so successfully avoided them at the beginning of the day.

Wednesday the big wigs were in for meetings which means pastries everywhere, plus a celebration dinner that night for a project. Yeah Wednesday didn't go so well. My co-worker was back from vacation. Don't get me wrong my co-worker and I are friends and I was happy to see her and glad she had a great vacation. I had a lot of fun the last 3 weeks supporting everyone and felt like I had purpose, was contributing  and more importantly felt like I was appreciated. I knew when she returned that I wouldn't be as busy anymore so I was a little sad about that. I know at some point things will ramp up for me again but it's been 6 months now and I'm itching to go. It will happen soon I must just be patient. The being busy is probably the thing I miss most from my previous job and I have to remember this is the right move career wise and they wouldn't have chosen me if they didn't think I could do it. I love the group I support so this is all in my head.

Thursday I did better as I knew I had to get the emotional eating under control. Then I got home and stood on the scale. I didn't like what was looking back at me and I also knew I self sabotaged myself.

Another thing that could be part of it is today is my birthday. I don't normally have issues with birthdays but today I turned 39. My vain self is happy that people would never think that as they always think I'm in my 20s but my head was going to more places like "you're 39 years old and your still not a goal weight". I think I truly became conscious of being fat when I was in junior high and it's been a battle ever since. I think back to my younger self and when I imagined what my life would be when I was older. I imagined a successful career and a husband and maybe a couple of kids. Well I have one of those 3. Now really I have no reason to complain. I have wonderful friends and I got a few surprise Happy Birthdays from people I wasn't expecting. I was also really happy that I am comfortable with my own company. Any other day I'm content and know if I'm meant to be married it will happen. The kid part I'm not so sure about anymore and let's be honest I'm getting older.

I knew I wanted to spend today alone. I had a few offers to go out some birthday related some probably had no clue. Today was a day like any other and the lawn had to mowed as it was jungle status. I had to clean the house as my Dad is coming tomorrow. I decided to eat whatever the heck I wanted to today so there where oreos and pepperoni pizza. I've decided to write off this week and we'll start fresh tomorrow. I've also decided to not go to weigh in tomorrow. I'm taking a birthday pass. Many of you will disagree with that and that's cool everyone is entitled to their opinion. I will not tailspin and completely abandon the wagon.

I'm going to be smokin' hot on my 40th birthday and I'm going to Vegas to rock the short dress and the high heels. Perhaps my version of midlife crisis :)

I'm still committed to my 90 day plan and the positive, go gettem' attitude will be back. I'm going to take the #fitafterfitbloggin pledge that Mizfit has created in the next few days. I like that it's a re-affirmation to yourself and there's no challenges or plan. I just need to do what I've done on successful weeks which is track and move more. I didn't know anything about Fitbloggin until I saw it all over twitter but I think I might go next year. How fun would that be to connect to other bloggers who've put a piece of themselves on the world wide web to be healthier.  I have zero intention of turning this blog into a money making entity it will always be my little soap box to talk about whatever the heck I want and if you enjoy reading it - bonus.

I do hope all of you had a great week and I'll probably be back on Sunday as tomorrow will be busy with papa.



Enz said...

Happy Birthday :) Turning 39 wasn't a problem for me, neither was 40..but 41 did my head in for some reason.

Wishing a successful year ahead, full of happiness and love :)

carla said...

checking in on you.
it's sunday :)