Sunday, March 27, 2011

In a funk

I have to admit I've been in a bit of funk since returning from Vegas. I had been looking forward to that trip for a long time and then it came and went. Now I face my normal existence until futher notice. It's not that my normal existence is so bad, in fact I should feel completely blessed.

I've now had two Vegas trips where I thought I could be at goal and it didn't happen either time. I watched all these fit women in cute sexy dresses and I want to do that at least once. Mind you I was comparing myself to 20 year olds which wasn't all that realistic. I still want to rock a sexy dress and not feel like a snuffleupagus. My friend posted the pictures from this trip on Facebook and I look at myself and see a chubby snuffleupagus. I know this is a battle with myself and really the answer is to keep going and be focused on my goals. I did hit my lowest weight to date within .2lbs. I have being making better choices food wise and doing pretty well with activity. I have to recognize where I've come from and know I can get where I'm going.

I will be going to Vegas again maybe even this September or if not definitely next summer. I will have my sexy dress moment damn it.

It didn't help that I've felt icky either because that doesn't exactly make me feel positive. It also doesn't help that we're know a week into spring and there's a lot of snow out there. I'm officially tired of winter.

However today I got dressed and headed outside. I walked to Walmart and went to Safeway. I just bought food for today and tomorrow morning. I've been eating out of the pantry for far too long. The walk there and back was a challenge as the snow felt like sand. The good part is was a bit of a workout.  When I was heading home I put the itunes on and the first song to come up was Pink's Fuckin' Perfect and this line stuck with me:

You're so mean, when you talk, about yourself you were wrong.
Change the voices, in your head, make them like you instead.
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!

Spring will come, I will continue to rock the program and cranky pants has been given notice.



Kayla101 said...

Pink is awesome! And that line is great!! Its true, you are often much harsher to yourself than anyone else!
You are doing amazing on your journey! Keep up the great work! I know its hard to stay positive but you are doing great!

Erin Crista said...

Hi, just started following your blog... Wanted to say you've accomplished a lot, congrats! Keep going because before you know it you'll be rocking that sexy dress in Vegas! Good luck!

Need to Get ME Back said...

I love that song, its so true, our inner voices are so much meaner to ourselves than to anyone else.

Maybe you're in a funk because you took some time off in Vegas. I know whenever I take time off for whatever reason, it is doubly hard getting back on track. Push thru girl!

Enz said...

Get the heck out of the funk...I miss your posts!