Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Day 25 – Self Sabotage rears its ugly head

 On Sunday I headed to the dollar store to pick up some desk accessories to decorate for Christmas, I have to admit I was a bit surprised about my wanting to do this. This is my first Christmas without my Dad or any family at all. Dad was always the constant though.

Hence my decision to go away as I figured the best thing for me would be to throw myself out of my comfort zone rather than stay at home and probably eat my way through the sappy Christmas movies and feel sorry for myself.

I don’t think I went too overboard with the decorations, and after I set it all up I realized I had added elements that have always been part of the home decorations primarily the nut crackers, the advent candles (fake tea lights) and the elves.



Quite happy I bought the festive Kleenex as the ones work supplies are like sandpaper in comparison

I weigh myself every morning; to me it’s about the data.  I don’t get all wrapped up in the number it’s just a reflection of my behaviors.

On Monday I stepped on the scale and saw a number I was super pleased with in fact a wee surprised. I packed my lunch and my gym bag.

Then I got to work and realized I had a 5:30pm to 7:30pm meeting that I had completely forgotten about. This meant no gym and a catered dinner.

But now that’s not the primary reason for the self-sabotage. On the weekend I bought a bag of Hershey kisses to keep in my desk, the reason that when I felt a chocolate fix I could have one. I should have known better. 

I’m not sure what happened yesterday but it was way more than a few, a lot more then a few. Then it was off to the meeting and it was Thai for dinner, not exactly my favorite so had an awful lot of white rice for dinner.

I took a cab home as I wasn't so keen on walking to the train in the dark by myself, called and was told it would be 30 min which is sort of unheard of on a Monday night, the cab actually showed up in 10 min though.

Got home and I was tired, unsatisfied as I didn't enjoy dinner so I then raided the fridge polishing off the Almond Tarts I foolishly bought on Sunday.

Totally unreasonable behavior. Today I tossed the Hershey's. I realized in the past few weeks Ice Cream can not be in the house. It's all about managing my environment and yes sacrifices. I still believe in everything in moderation it just can't be within easy reach. 

I really need to ask myself what will get me closer to goal. 

The battle continues...

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