Sunday, November 03, 2013

Day 2- Meet my self saboteur

The wonderful snow we got has turned to frozen slush covered by more snow.

Boy am I happy I returned that rental yesterday.

I had to go outside today as I did sign up for that Yoga for the inner critic. Who I like to call my saboteur aka the little voice in my head. Some may call it ego, or inner critic but whatever you call it I think many of us have one.

The workshop itself was interesting and  it felt a little all over the place.There wasn't a whole lot of yoga but there were some very interesting exercises.

A very interesting exercise was to have a dialogue with your inner and then draw your inner critic.

I thought I'd share it with you.

 For the last two questions we were asked to write with our non dominant hand so that's why the writing gets a little wonky. I describe my inner critic/ self saboteur as a shadow, sort of like a filter or cloud. I know it's been with me my whole life, protecting me when I was younger from bullies or being scared but as an adult it's not so helpful. This sort of follows what I talked about yesterday from the book I'm reading. Your animal brain that has habits and triggers things that may not be so helpful now. The question What do I need to say to you should have been written in first person but I know I am strong, I do know what I'm doing, I am blessed.

Now this is how I see my inner critic, it's a little ominous but that's not what I meant. I wanted to present a shadow, filter, haze and bit of a snuggly. As a kid it was a snuggly, a only child with immigrant parents, introvert, chubby and not quite the same income level as my school friends so then it represented a safe place where I felt comforted. As an adult in lulls me into buying Oreos or camp out on the couch. It also like to talk me into not trying and keeping with the status quo instead of shaking that off and going forward.

Then we did some yoga and finished with Yoga Nidra. I think of it as a relaxing meditation, I love yoga nidra as it relaxes me completely. It also reminds me to be present in the moment and really listen to my body. I'm always disappointed when it ends.

The moral to my story I think I know have a better idea of what I'm dealing with and how to work with it. More importantly how I go forward is up to me and under my control.

Now I'm super tired and off to bed but I wanted to get this down and not leave it until tomorrow.


No comments: