Day 29 - Funny how a one phrase effects you

I tend to check Facebook before I head out for the day, I remember a time I would rarely go on there but I seem to be on there a lot more. I was happy I was today as WeightWatchers posted the above.

Remember yesterday I was talking about skipping WI but I knew that wasn't a smart idea well this phrase just made me feel better about going.

I always get up a few hours before WI and this morning I was watching a show I had pvrd on the BBC network called Secret Eaters. The premise from what I gather after watching one episode is that it has two people who are overweight but don't really understand why, they think they're eating healthy and they go to the gym. The show puts cameras in their house which they're aware of but what they don't know is they're also followed by private investigators.

They go about their week not changing any eating patterns and filling out a food diary. At the end of the week  they go to cafe when concealed doors open to reveal a type of incident lab. The participants see what they really ate for the week and see footage from the cameras and the PIs. In this episode it was two sisters who each tracked an average of 1200 calories a day in their diaries but the actuality was they were actually eating about 3 times that. One sister had this theory that after you work out you can eat whatever you want for an hour. Another thought a croissant was a light snack as it's so airy.

What's also neat about this show is has snippets where the show host and experts show experiments on how we overeat. For example on this episode they had an art class where they provided snacks. They divided the group into two. Each group got identical cakes and treats but one group's treats were labelled as low fat and the other group with more decadent names. The test was to see do we eat more if we think it's healthier. They also put a camera in a pub and offered free appies and tracked how people grazed.

It made me think of the BLTs, you know the bites, licks and tastes that we don't track.

I then headed to the meeting and faced my 1.6 lb gain, I also picked up a new 3 month tracker. There were far less people then normal. Some of the people I remember who used to stay for the meeting now weigh in and go.

I think the new leader is definitely dedicated but a little frazzled. She was also the leader on Tuesday nights. I remember when she was sort of teasing a member who likes Nutella, yet the leader has declared her love of Fat Free Cool Whip. I'm of the theory everything in moderation but don't knock Nutella if you're eating the chemical by product called Fat Free Cool Whip.

The topic this week was making a losing list, now I already knew that thanks to twitter and yes Facebook. She got us to start writing one right there. Now this is not a foreign concept to me. I'm in HR and as part of performance management we often coach managers on intrinsic and external motivators.

There are a myriad of reasons why we decide to start a healthier lifestyle or deciding to walk through the doors of WeightWatchers. Now this is not my first rodeo with WeightWatchers either after all 3rd time is the charm right. An external motivator might get you to start like a doctor's advice or seeing yourself in vacation pictures but what keeps us going?

I know when I follow the plan as in track and focus on healthy behaviours it totally works. When the results don't happen the fault is 100% my own for half following or not following.

I've been thinking a lot about the losing list for the past week and this what I've noted so far.

Health
This one is kind of a no brainer but I know I'm increasing my chances of illness if I don't get my weight under control. I don't want to be responsible for hurting myself.

My knees aren't fond of stairs especially the right one and I know that will be a whole lot better with less weight.

My father died of high blood pressure and I want to make sure mine is in the normal range.

Vanity
I think vanity can be huge factor, like I want to feel cute and yes sexy, more confident, dress to impress not to camouflage. I've bought clothes in a smaller size to motivate myself, I want to wear them.

I've been single for a long time and I know if I'm going to put myself out there I need to work on my confidence.

I want to be faster in my races and start in earlier corrals. Feel better after the race as well.

In the meeting the leader also focused on those that were lifetime which I did think was nice. As it's nice to hear from them, I think we often think that when we hit that number we want all the work stops which is so untrue. I know for me it will always mean focusing on healthy habits and being mindful.

After weigh in I headed down to another Christmas fair and I got there before my friends as they were running late. Well I walked the whole thing and was less then impressed and again I questioned my being there. I found the whole thing rather meh. Lots of food that wasn't remotely good for you, trinkets and baubles that I just see as stuff. It really was just a whole lot of stuff and a whole lot of people who don't pay attention where they're going.  I've come to the conclusion I don't care for these craft fairs, now perhaps something smaller where you don't need to pay to get in would appeal to me more. I decided to leave before my friends arrived and sent a text wishing them a good time. I heard from them later and they didn't like it either apparently the one in Edmonton is better.

Tonight is the company Christmas party, I'm not going. Primarily because I figured with the fair I'd be peopled out. I'm feeling emotionally fragile lately especially with all this Christmas stuff. This would be another event with a whole lot of people where what I really needed was some quiet time.

I'm committed to a home party on the 14th and I'll do that but other then that my festivities will be kept to a minimum as soon I'm off to Tokyo.

Next week I intend to weigh in on Friday as I'm doing the Santa Shuffle 5K on Saturday - which is also my Dad's birthday. Now a massive winter storm is apparently heading our way to hit late Sunday but temperatures will be dropping. Next Saturday has a forecast of -16c with a windchill of -20c otherwise known as -4F. Right now it's 2C, what can I say we're a hearty people. The overnight low is supposed to be -24c/ -11.2F on the 7th. Yeah I'm thinking long johns will be necessary.

Day 26 - 28 Fun, remorse and a head shake

Let me start by wishing all my American friends a belated and very Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you all had an amazing day and spent it how you wished.

Wednesday night I went to Twas’ the Night a special shopping event in the downtown mall named The Core.

My friend L and I went. First we stopped for dinner at a fabulous pub, where I had chicken fingers and fries and 2 Vodka Diet cokes...more on that later. Then I needed a bank machine so I took her through the myriad of Plus 15 (above ground indoor bridges that link buildings) which brought us to Bankers Hall which also let us see my hands down favourite Christmas decoration in any mall on earth.

Aren’t the lights incredible? It’s truly magical when it snows as the ceiling is all glass so you look up into the lights and see snow falling. Well no snow yesterday but still magical.

We ventured over to the Core which is attached to get Yogen Fruz for dessert where we stumbled upon the members of the Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra and the Choir warming up. In a word – incredible.

At lunch time a few of us went to a local church to hear some company choirs including my company perform. I had no idea we had a choir. We thought they were great and then we heard the CPO choir...wowsers.

I then saw the dogs. I love dogs and practically vibrate when I see one. Pretty unusual to see dogs in the mall but they were there as part of Pals, which is an organization that takes their incredibly calm and well behaved dogs to help people in crisis. There was a golden retriever, a beagle, a greyhound then the Newfoundlander arrived – this dog is massive and reminds me of a bear. He came to above my hip and I’m 5’4. Had he stood up he would be taller than me.

I asked the owner how much he weighed she said 165-175 pounds. I said I bet he thinks he’s a lap dog. She conquered.

Then Santa lit the massive Christmas tree in the mall and there were indoor fireworks – craziness blew my mind as I’ve never seen that before.

Then Jann Arden took the stage and sang 4 songs, she did two of my absolute favourites “Insensitive” and “Good Mother”. She is really funny too if you’ve never seen her live. Truly awesome experience when a few hundred people sing along especially in the chorus of Insensitive.

I’m super happy we went for dinner as the line ups for food samples were insane. One of the things I love about the downtown mall as that it has 4 floors so even though a gob of people can be in there it never feels crowded like a one or two level mall.

Now this leads me to remorse as of course I wasn’t at the gym on Wednesday but I never made it there once this week. The pub dinner of chicken fingers wasn't  the brightest idea so when I stepped on the scale Thursday morning it was a downright scary number. Now flashback to Monday were I was super jazzed about the number, so much changes in a week. Now the thing is today was no better, tracking hit the skids. I'm just completely fallen off the wagon and I think it was due to a stressful work week and Christmas starting to really hit me. 

I'm wondering if I was pushing myself a little with getting all into Christmas, while parts of it feel good it also feels a little weird. I created a Christmas music playlist as I do love Christmas music and on the walk home from the train station today I started to tear up listing to "I'll be home for Christmas". That has always been one of my favourite songs but today it hit me in a totally new way. I'm even tearing up writing about it. 

That leads me to the things people have been saying to me lately. One friend thought I would be feeling conflicted about going away for Christmas. I'm not conflicted. The fact is I have no family in Canada and I'm completely on my own. Why would I stay home and mope plus probably emotionally eat my way through the holidays. Then someone else said if I changed my mind I could spend the time with them in Fort McMurray. I've paid for this trip I'm going and no offense to Fort McMurray but I'm not keen on spending Christmas in -30C which is actually -41C with windchill which for my American friends is -41F. 

Now that brings me to weigh in tomorrow where I will most certainly see a gain and then that caused my head to spin. My instinct is to skip and bury my head in the sand. My logical brain says go and face the number, it's a number and a fresh start to the week. I probably need a meeting. So I'm going and that's final. 

I need to look up, put one foot in front of the other and most importantly  believe in myself 

Day 25 – Self Sabotage rears its ugly head

 On Sunday I headed to the dollar store to pick up some desk accessories to decorate for Christmas, I have to admit I was a bit surprised about my wanting to do this. This is my first Christmas without my Dad or any family at all. Dad was always the constant though.

Hence my decision to go away as I figured the best thing for me would be to throw myself out of my comfort zone rather than stay at home and probably eat my way through the sappy Christmas movies and feel sorry for myself.

I don’t think I went too overboard with the decorations, and after I set it all up I realized I had added elements that have always been part of the home decorations primarily the nut crackers, the advent candles (fake tea lights) and the elves.

Before:

After:

Quite happy I bought the festive Kleenex as the ones work supplies are like sandpaper in comparison

I weigh myself every morning; to me it’s about the data.  I don’t get all wrapped up in the number it’s just a reflection of my behaviors.

On Monday I stepped on the scale and saw a number I was super pleased with in fact a wee surprised. I packed my lunch and my gym bag.

Then I got to work and realized I had a 5:30pm to 7:30pm meeting that I had completely forgotten about. This meant no gym and a catered dinner.

But now that’s not the primary reason for the self-sabotage. On the weekend I bought a bag of Hershey kisses to keep in my desk, the reason that when I felt a chocolate fix I could have one. I should have known better. 

I’m not sure what happened yesterday but it was way more than a few, a lot more then a few. Then it was off to the meeting and it was Thai for dinner, not exactly my favorite so had an awful lot of white rice for dinner.

I took a cab home as I wasn't so keen on walking to the train in the dark by myself, called and was told it would be 30 min which is sort of unheard of on a Monday night, the cab actually showed up in 10 min though.

Got home and I was tired, unsatisfied as I didn't enjoy dinner so I then raided the fridge polishing off the Almond Tarts I foolishly bought on Sunday.

Totally unreasonable behavior. Today I tossed the Hershey's. I realized in the past few weeks Ice Cream can not be in the house. It's all about managing my environment and yes sacrifices. I still believe in everything in moderation it just can't be within easy reach. 

I really need to ask myself what will get me closer to goal. 

The battle continues...

Christmas is coming - not sure how I feel about that

Let me start by saying my PayPal issue was resolved, they ruled in my favor and confirmed my account was compromised. That made me happy and now I will close that account. I was sort of impressed that it only took 3 days to sort out and I was fearing it would take months.

Went to WI today and I was down .2, I weighed myself at home before I left and it was -.5 alas it's a loss.

I wasn't so keen on the meeting itself as we talked about Christmas dinner and how that can turn into up to 70pts just for dinner.

Now this is my first Christmas without my Dad and I was fearing this season the most. This is why I decided to go to Tokyo. In terms of Christmas dinner no idea what I'm having. Plus we have always celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve so no turkey or stuffing. I only had that if invited over to friend's houses.

I do find myself feeling a wee Christmasy which sort of surprised me as I really want to decorate my cubicle. I even got myself an advent calendar. Right now I'm planning to check out Tokyo Disneyland on Christmas Day. I've come to the realization that I will most likely travel on Christmas for now on. Who knows what the future brings but it's just an inkling.

Dad's birthday is December 7th and I will be doing the Santa Shuffle 5K and then off to dinner theater to ironically celebrate my friend's husband's birthday. I figured it was a good night to be around people.

Now down 2 lbs since I rejoined meetings. It's definitely slow and steady progress but I'm not complaining. I have been playing fast and loose with points. I finished last week in the hole for points.

No the NSW of last week was where I revisited the evil treadmill and figured out my pace in kilometers as these treadmills do KM. Which is kind of funny, Canada is metric but since the Tinkerbell Half 2 years ago I've trained in miles to fool myself into thinking 13.1 doesn't feel so daunting as 21.

The weather has warmed up thanks to chinook, and it's currently +9c, earlier this week it waffled around -27C, yup a 30 degree difference in a week.

I felt for my friends in Fort McMurray, yesterday it was -41c with the windchill.

Now that I'm embracing a whole lot of winter training well lately my long runs have suffered due to the weather between blizzards and dumps of snow every freaking weekend. I know that needs to change and today I saw an article in Canadian Running magazine on the 2014 winter running shoes.

Now I've trained in multiple winters but that's when I ran in Mizunos, I have switched to Nike Lunarglides as I found the Mizunos were making my feet hurt. I talked to someone at the Running Room about that and they said Mizunos can actually improve your gait. I ran with them for years before I overpronated and now I don't do that as badly as I used to. I've run/ walked a few Halfs with Lunarglides and I really like them. My feet don't hurt and I've never lost a toe nail. I didn't in the Mizunos either actually.

I wouldn't describe the Lunarglides as a winter shoe though, from the fact that they really don't have any grip and not exactly warm so after reading this article I'm eyeing these:

The Nike Wildhorse, the specs say not ideal for slushy but to be honest I most likely would not be going outside in slush, I more concerned with packed snow and ice or more specifically neighbours who don't shovel their sidewalk. What I like about these is apparently they transition well to dry pavement. I have spikes for crazy icy but spikes on dry pavement or sidewalk not so great. Now they're described as a more minimal shoe but reviews don't say anything bad about that and some reviewers also overpronate. 

According the training plan I was supposed to do a 4 mile walk today and tomorrow do 9.5 miles. Today I walked to weigh in but discovered my fabulous Ugg winter boots were scraping the heck out of the back of my right foot. I go through this every winter, I wear the winter boots with ankle socks to work and back as the distance is short no problem, today it was 12 blocks had I just worn higher socks it would have been fine.

I wound up taking the bus home as I was limping, then this afternoon I had a nap so no 4 miles. The 9.5 for tomorrow well the longest before winter caused me issues was 6 miles. So my goal for tomorrow is to go further then 6 miles and see how it goes. It doesn't help that I also had a cold last weekend but my run on the treadmill felt really good so I'm focusing on the positive. 

Heck I did Dumbo without one single run for 6 weeks beforehand because after my Dad died training wasn't top of mind. I did that race purely on will.  I just want to be better prepared for Tink and even better prepared for the Princess Half. Oh yes I signed up for the 5K at Princess, so that will be a 5K on the Friday, 10K on Saturday and 21K on Sunday. Yikes but I figure why the heck not plus it won't be stupid hot and humid like Dumbo. 

So that's all I got for now, this week I have a whole lot of social activities that should be quite fun. 

Hugs!!

Mad as all get out

The weather has been wild and wacky, as I last told you we had a blizzard then the weather stayed ridiculously cold. Yesterday when I left for work it was -27c, today when I left for work it was -7c, yup a 20 degree difference in 24 hours. That's the way we roll and why I have 4 different levels of winter jackets.

I got the shock of my life on Tuesday when I got an email from PayPal saying I bought an $800 unlocked Iphone. Say what?????

I checked and not only did some dude or pretend dude from Winchester, California order a phone on my account. I also say that there were two attempts to transfer money from my credit card well thankfully that was declined. What makes me mad is PP didn't flag it. Why would an American buy something from an American vendor using a Canadian account. So mad.

So now PP is looking into it and I've alerted the CC company and told them my card was compromised. I'm so annoyed that the moment this is resolved I'm cancelling.

It's funny, I was asked by a coworker why I used PP and I didn't have a really good answer. It's convenient is all I could say.

Today I signed up for the Cinderella Royal Family 5K, yup that will mean a 5K on Friday, a 10K on Saturday and a Half on Sunday in February.

I have to admit my training has suffered lately due to the bad weather and then this weekend I was feeling like I had a cold, so I've focused on rest and copious amounts of Vitamin C. Today it was just a wee sniffling so I returned to the gym and spent 35 min on the treadmill.

It felt really good which surprised me. Well signing up for that 5K definitely lit a fire for me as I realize the weather excuses need to stop.

Tomorrow I will return to the gym and spend some time on the rower, that should be interesting as I haven't used that piece of equipment in awhile.

Well I hope all of you are well.

Hugs!!

Snow Day

All day yesterday the weather forecast was Snow Fall Warning interchanged with blizzard, well this is what I saw when I got up this morning.

Ugg, I can handle snow but when it's teamed with high winds today was a day you stay home unless you absolutely must go out. They actually declared a tow ban on the highway to Edmonton, not familiar with a tow ban that pretty much means you go out and get stuck you are on your own as no tow trucks are coming.

In Calgary itself there were over 100 accidents before 11 am.

I did not go to weigh in.

Instead I revisited

Call it my own in home meeting today. You see yesterday I got taken out to lunch for my 5 year work anniversary and then I met my friends to go to an art market and a steak dinner, had I gone today I would have seen a gain but I was prepared for that. The gain would be result of the night before.

Today I did think because I knew Friday would be challenging and the weather would be bad on Saturday I could have weighed in on Thursday at lunch, yet I didn't. That bugged me more that I could have gone to a meeting this week had I just thought about it.

I need to be a whole lot better at planning and that means packing my lunch and snacks for 4/5 days a week, I figure if I allow myself to buy lunch on Wednesdays that will break up the week. I'm notoriously bad at packing lunch as I get super boring. On Thursday I bought a ham sandwich on marble rye bread and thought I could make this at home.

I'm also terrible at meal planning, maybe because I'm on my own but I know I can overcome that.

I also am realizing that snow every weekend is not helping my run training and looked into passes at a local gym with an indoor track, I figure that won't quite as mindless as a treadmill for longer distances. Though the treadmill might not be so bad if I have movie or something on the iPad. I need to test my maximum distance on the treadmill before I get downright squirelly.

I'm also going to visit the company gym for often during the week - they are open on Saturdays too and will way emptier then the Spa Lady, my gym bag is under my desk right now. I have duplicate shoes from when I was at site so all I need to do is switch out the clothes. For classes and Sundays it will be Spa Lady.

I also did a lot of thinking about when did my get up and go, get up and start to drift away. I think I can track it back to when I first got told I was being transferred back to Calgary but no indication of what position I would go into to, which would be about when I got boss #4. Then my Dad passed away and I started a new job 2 weeks later. The new job brought we back into an environment with loads of temptations aka food courts. To know how I got here helps me get myself out of it and the past few weeks have been good but I know could be better.

I did find two new running skirts from Rock City Skirts.

 I love this Disney villain inspired skirt it could be Maleficent or Ursula, I'm thinking ahead to Tinkerbell or Princess Half for this one.

This one I hope gets here in time for the Santa Shuffle 5K.

What can I say I seek inspiration from sparkles.

Day 11 - Basic tourist Japanese begins

Hello my friends,

I was having some weird internet issues and been spending more time on the phone with my internet provider , and climbing ladders to tell them what lights are on the modem then blogging.

So let me start with WW, I was down .8 this week which brought me back to 27 points a day. Which I was happy about while being conflicted about.

My training hit a wee snag with it snowing every weekend, this weekend was supposed to be 8 miles then we got 3 inches of snow. I'm looking at indoor tracks as snow will be inevitable for the next 4 months and I need to have a plan B.

Today I had to miss my treadmill appointment to be home for the internet guys, they replaced the entire modem so hopefully no more pixelation issues and the total loss of service 2 days in a row.

My intention is to hit the treadmill tomorrow and Thursday to make up some time. Friday I'm being taken out to lunch by my boss as it's my 5 year anniversary with the company. Then I leave early to go see an Art Market and dinner with my friends. I'll need to tread carefully as I do have weigh in the next day.

Today I met with the lawyer to sign round one of the paperwork for my Dad's will. It hit me today that next week will be 5 months since he passed. It amazes me that so much time has passed and in a little over a month I'll be in Tokyo.

I desperately miss my Dad every single day. I know he's think Tokyo is crazy but hopefully gets the why I need to do this.

Speaking of Tokyo, I did get a Pimsleur Japanese language CD and started it today while on the train, yeah that won't work as it's necessary to repeat things out loud. So I did on the walk home as I passed no one and I figure any cars passing might think I was talking on my phone via the headphones. I simply need to put aside 30min a day for this and I can. I do like how the CD works though as they definitely know the science of language learning with the focus on the saying out loud plus all examples are based in a situation. For example lesson 1 is asking someone if they speak English. Using things like excuse me, I understand, I don't understand...handy me thinks.

I came home early in order to wait for the techs so I was washing dishes and trying to listen to the lesson, I definitely realize that it's best to do nothing and just focus on the lesson from now on.

I'm debating on going to FitBloggin next year, I missed this year due to my Dad passing. Next year it's in Savannah. I'm realizing that is not a popular destination from Calgary as most flights are 2-3 connections and take an full day. However thanks to my FitBloggin FB friends a suggestion was look at flight to a major hub and then the connecting flight separately from a US city, that could actually save me some moolah.

Alright that's where I'm at, I hope all is well with you.

Hugs!!!!

Day 5 - Seasonal Adjustments

So do you find yourself changing habits because the season is changing?

As winter has arrived in my fair city I do find myself doing things a little differently, for example I hit the treadmill on Tuesday for the first time in a long time. I prefer outside, but my neighbourhood was still very icy and with it darker earlier I went with the safety of a treadmill. At least in daylight I can see the ice better.

Well the evil treadmill. I have 2 gym memberships - yes I know that sounds ridiculous but they're both super cheap and together equal less then average gym membership.

I went to the office gym on Tuesday and faced off with the evil treadmill.

Sorry for the fuzzy photo but I've never been good at taking shots while moving. The reason I think this particular treadmill is evil is it's all touch screen, so when changing speed it's not consistent. Keep your finger on that part a little to long and the speed jumps dramatically. The other thing is it's metric. Now I live in a metric country but most treadmills are imperial. I train in miles to fool myself into thinking 13.1 sounds better then 21. On Tuesday my foot pod wouldn't talk to my Garmin so I'm assuming the battery is dead.

The other change is that instead of going straight for coffee when I get to the office I now stop off at my desk to take off all the winter wear and then go get a coffee.

This weekend I need to pick up waterproof mascara as the early morning cold temperatures are messing with my water resistant mascara.

Not to mention in winter I need to up my skin care as what I use in the summer is not enough moisture.

The other day I went through the hall closet to locate the toques and gloves, it's just going to get colder.

It's funny I've been super on plan this week but today that went out the window. I'm thinking hormones. At least I can identify it and move on.

How is your week going?

Hugs!!

Day 3 - Winter dress rehearsal

Today I want to talk about winter boots, maybe not a thrilling topic but if you have winter where you live I think you'll understand.

I take winter seriously, I will always choose function over fashion but if I can find function and fashion I'm thrilled especially that I now work downtown again.

Normally my go to winter boot is Sorel, in the past few years Sorels have also become fashionable as you can get them in Holt Renfrew, kind of like the Canadian version of Nordstroms.

Now when I was a at site where winters could get as cold as -40c, I had an amazing pair of Sorels.

They eventually died so I replaced them with another pair, now mind you I bought the new pair on sale and didn't really put a whole lot of thought in to them.

I think I liked them because they were pink. I'm not a fan of them anymore. For one thing my old Sorels had amazing traction through snow, slush and on ice. I wore these the last few days and I was slipping and sliding all over the place and there is ice everywhere. I was totally surprised by this. Now these ones were about $50 less then my old pair so perhaps I inadvertently bought a crappy pair.

I started a little research thinking about at site where we had a requirement for boots and one of the things that met the requirements are vibram soles.

Low and behold Ugg makes winter boots with vibram soles. I read a few reviews online that just raved about them. They're waterproof, good to about -20c, have a smaller footprint (the Sorel's do have a monster foot print). They are super light too, which most Sorel's are not. I was totally surprised but I decided to give them a try so first road test is tomorrow. Can I say how surprised I was to see so many people in the regular Uggs today. I enjoy how Ugg tells you they're not for excessive walking.

Don't get me wrong when a blizzard hit or there's more then a foot of snow outside I bring out the big guns.

Notice that totally different soles, these are a little cumbersome but like I said when that kind of weather hits I'm ready.

Tonight I also tested taking the shuttle from the train station home as opposed to walking home from one station over. It worked well.

Tomorrow I'm packing a gym bag as treadmill season has started. I will run outside in winter but not when it's icy and it's super icy right now. The morons who didn't shovel have sidewalks of pure ice. The last two weeks have been super snowy and slush which has not helped my long runs. I'll have to take it week by week.

Speaking of ice, I was very good today. I packed my lunch, I had 6 cups of water done before 3 pm but then  I fell victim to the Icy Chocolate Squares. I love them but today I found the nutritional info.

Each square is 2 pts, I had 5 of them (not all at once) by the time I thought I should track this yeah 9 pts for those suckers. I guess I should be happy it didn't work out to 10 pts.

Still I have plenty of WP so it's not huge damage.

When I was walking through the mall to get to the train station, I did have a brief thought of I should pick something up for dinner. However I talked myself out of that as I have low point options at home.

Hope your Monday went well.

Hugs!!

Day 2- Meet my self saboteur

The wonderful snow we got has turned to frozen slush covered by more snow.

Boy am I happy I returned that rental yesterday.

I had to go outside today as I did sign up for that Yoga for the inner critic. Who I like to call my saboteur aka the little voice in my head. Some may call it ego, or inner critic but whatever you call it I think many of us have one.

The workshop itself was interesting and  it felt a little all over the place.There wasn't a whole lot of yoga but there were some very interesting exercises.

A very interesting exercise was to have a dialogue with your inner and then draw your inner critic.

I thought I'd share it with you.

 For the last two questions we were asked to write with our non dominant hand so that's why the writing gets a little wonky. I describe my inner critic/ self saboteur as a shadow, sort of like a filter or cloud. I know it's been with me my whole life, protecting me when I was younger from bullies or being scared but as an adult it's not so helpful. This sort of follows what I talked about yesterday from the book I'm reading. Your animal brain that has habits and triggers things that may not be so helpful now. The question What do I need to say to you should have been written in first person but I know I am strong, I do know what I'm doing, I am blessed.

Now this is how I see my inner critic, it's a little ominous but that's not what I meant. I wanted to present a shadow, filter, haze and bit of a snuggly. As a kid it was a snuggly, a only child with immigrant parents, introvert, chubby and not quite the same income level as my school friends so then it represented a safe place where I felt comforted. As an adult in lulls me into buying Oreos or camp out on the couch. It also like to talk me into not trying and keeping with the status quo instead of shaking that off and going forward.

Then we did some yoga and finished with Yoga Nidra. I think of it as a relaxing meditation, I love yoga nidra as it relaxes me completely. It also reminds me to be present in the moment and really listen to my body. I'm always disappointed when it ends.

The moral to my story I think I know have a better idea of what I'm dealing with and how to work with it. More importantly how I go forward is up to me and under my control.

Now I'm super tired and off to bed but I wanted to get this down and not leave it until tomorrow.

Hugs!!

Goals for the next 6 weeks

Another snowfall warning for my fair city which had me a wee nervous as I wanted to return the rental car today as snow has been forecasted for Sunday for weeks. Of course the warning was set for today. I headed out at about 7:40 am, and it wasn't snowing yet. Took the car back, hopped the train back to the meeting. Stopped in at Starbucks first of course.

At the weigh in I was down .6, which is awesome. Factoring in my first 3 days of the week was breakfast at Tim Hortons and lunch at Dairy Queen while I was in Cochrane.

I walked into the meeting and there were far less people then usual but that could be because of the snow warning. I saw a couple of regulars plus new faces. The topic was what's in your toolkit. That got me thinking about things that worked for me in the past.

Like focusing on water, packing my lunch and only buying one day a week plus tracking like a maniac.


I abandoned my day count as I got a little messed up on my days back on WW as I switched weigh in days so I'm starting my count back at one as in today's meeting we were challenged to make a 6 week goal and revisit on December 14th.

Our leader asked us to write down a goal, fold the piece of paper and put our name on the top. I'm guessing we'll see these again on December 4th.

I had 3 goals:
Lose 12 lbs (that's 2 lbs per week)
Drink 6 glasses of water per day, especially with winter coming it's just plain good for me.
Track every single day for the next 6 weeks.

Now by the time we left the meeting the snow started so I popped into Safeway quickly to grab a few things primarily to pack my lunch for work. I walked home in the snow, it was pretty wet too and seemed to be blowing straight at me no matter what direction I was going in. It was slushy snow which is not great.

I wanted to get home and out of the snow as fast as possible. By 1 pm there were 20 accidents on the roads. After my experience last Sunday, I've got go slow, keep 3 cars of space between you and the car in front of me pretty much drilled into my head. I'm still really happy I returned that car first thing in the morning.

Tonight we turn the clocks back an hour and soon it will be dark leaving work. So I'm going to need some strategies for workouts. Right now that looks like packing a gym bag and learning to use the evil treadmills in the office gym. Keeping long runs to the weekends and dealing with the weather the best I can.

I bought the Women's Health Big Book of Exercises and mapped out a strength training routine down to page flags telling me the order of the exercises.

When I did get home I through on my flannel bathrobe and read a bit of Brain Over Binge, I skipped ahead a few chapters as I specifically wanted to know the steps of overcoming irrational eating behaviour not so much the back story of the author. I'm intrigued so far that's for sure about the concept of two brains. The animal brain which in a nutshell causes the irrational behaviour as it can be a habit. Having grown up overweight I'm sure there are some ingrained habits that slowly but surely I'm replacing with better habits.

I need to read a bit more but so far I find it really interesting.

Tomorrow I plan to go to church and the 3 hr yoga workshop in the church gym as it's focused on your inner critic. I'll have to see how bad the snow is effecting things as it's supposed to keep snowing through till tomorrow.

I hope all of you had a great day.

Hugs!!!

Back to the beginning

Tomorrow I go back to Saturday morning meetings.

I've come to the realization that I need meetings as I need the accountability of someone else's scale, I like the camaraderie of a meeting and I miss the Saturday morning group.

Now a lot of things changed in the meetings since I had my sabbatical. WW Canada took over which I think is a very good thing as it gives some consistency and the Alberta franchisees would often not carry a lot of WW stuff.

I saw the changes when I returned to meetings on Tuesdays. Now what will be interesting to see is who from the Saturday group went along with the change. My leader doesn't change as the same one does Tuesday night and Saturday morning.

My other thought about returning to Saturday morning meetings is this is where it all began. When I first walked through the doors of WW.

When I walk through those doors tomorrow it will be to see this finished, get to goal and get lifetime.

The first thing I need to do is return the rental and of course we have another snow fall warning, at least this time my plan is first thing in the morning and it's a 15 min drive not 1.5 hrs.

Today I went to Sephora for a makeover, apparently I spend enough money there that I got a free makeover and 10% off coupon. Now I did work for the Body Shop for 10 years and preformed many makeovers but lately I find myself in a rut. So I went wanting to see if there was something new and to learn some new tricks. Plus now that I'm back in a corporate environment I need to walk the walk.

The fast selfie in the mall to document the finally, I went in with no makeup on. I did learn some new tricks plus realized I still know my stuff. I think the advisor enjoyed herself as we could talk about products instead of her just explaining them to me.

So I'm looking forward to tomorrow and to a fresh week.

Hugs!