Saturday, March 09, 2013

Blocked chakra and fear?

It's never a good thing when I don't blog in a week. Not to say I had anything particularly interesting to say but again I blog for me like an online diary and when I don't I know I'm crawling into my shell.

This was my first week in a few that I did my regular work schedule of a full 4 days at site. I was busy as the two weeks before not being at site set me a little behind.

I talk to my boss every Monday as we have a regular standing touch base meeting. She was telling me about an upcoming appointment with a psychic. I've been to psychic's before and acknowledge there are those who don't buy into and do believe in this but I won't pass judgement as we are entitled to our own beliefs.

Well a few days later she told me about the appointment and had good things to say about this person so this conversation got me thinking. I asked for their contact info and booked an appointment of my own and booked it for Friday.

The rest of the week flew by and I was utterly exhausted every night so no workouts just straight back to my room at the end.

Thursday when we flew home we were going to dinner as a goodbye get together for one of our work friends who's leaving us. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings close to the airport. I don't do bones but luckily Thursday is boneless wings night. I realized this would so not WW friendly but at that moment I opted to throw caution to the wind and just enjoy myself.

Well we all got a boot of Steam Whistle beer that's a litre (roughly 2 pints) of beer and ate a bunch of wings. We were narrowly kicked out by the manager as our outgoing co-worker had 2.5 boots and was enjoying himself a little loudly. All in all it was quite fun and so many laughs. Now I knew that I'd be skipping WI as there was no way I'd undo the damage by Saturday morning. Agree or disagree but it felt like the right decision.

So we now land on Friday and my appointment with the psychic.

It was interesting, she nailed my insecurities about my upcoming job change, picked up on the guy I went to junior high with who's been asking me for coffee on Facebook and said something that struck home.

She said stop feeling fear and just go with it about the job, about the love life and about my goals.

For the longest time I've been feeling a block and she helped me label it - it's fear.

Fear of succeeding at weight loss
Fear of failing at weight loss
Fear of falling in love
Fear of being alone forever
Fear of failure
Fear of success
Fear of not succeeding

She asked me if I was currently interested in anyone and I couldn't answer. Based on what I do I always I feel I need to keep a little distance and I just keep that going outside of work as well.  I then explained that I've always been a little clueless. I translate a guy flirting with me as being nice not interested. She told me my heart chakra was blocked. I know a little about chakra, as it's similar to Chi or Prana.

She gave me a mantra:
I'm active, attractive and in demand under grace in the perfect way

I told her my fear is probably tied to self esteem and then she said I had great self esteem. I supposed I do project that but don't necessarily feel it.

Afterward I remembered I had a book.

I've had this forever and based on folded corner never got past page 27. I think it's time to revisit.

This week my goal is to focus on positive actions and energy.


1 comment:

Enz said...

What's that saying, "The only thing you have to fear is fear itself".

You have come so far - don't look back, only ahead!