Saturday, September 28, 2013

Self Perception

Two weeks since I last posted...that is a little unlike me.

However it's been awhile since I felt like me, months in fact ever since my father passed away. I am reconciling with the new me, the me who is on their own in this world. Surrounded by friends don't get me wrong, but any remaining family lives in another country and we have never been nor will be close.

I'm still thinking about the Reinvention I blogged about last time, that's part of the reconciliation.

It's funny the other day at work I was dressed like this.

Note the snazzy zipper on the top.  I was feeling good and thought I looked sharp.

I was wearing these boots.

A colleague told me I had swagger that day and was a bit of rocker. What I did notice was the amount of attention I got. Normally I'm oblivious to that sort of thing but I noticed I got a lot more attention from men.

I think that had to do with the swagger.

Later in the week I'm walking in a plus 15 system and I see my reflection in the mirror and I saw myself as a blob, not to mention the video conference I was in and of course one part of the screen shows your room. There was the blob.

Isn't self perception funny and a self fulfilling prophecy. When you believe in yourself and feel good about yourself some amazing things happen to your aura.

That's the essence of my reconciliation/ reinvention.

I'm starting to feel like I'm a bit back into my regular routine and getting myself back together. The training for half marathons helps as it forces me to stick to a schedule. The first few weeks haven't been perfect but I'm getting there.

I was shopping with a friend today and we talked about journals, she admitted to buying them then partially fill them out. I not long ago tossed about 15 journals I had started and never finished. Vowing that the one I have now is the one I stick with until it's finished. So far so good and that started months ago.

I'm putting the pieces together again, slowly but surely.


1 comment:

Enz said...

All you can do is your best everyday and some days best is better than others.