Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas!

I spent Christmas by myself this year (Please no sympathy, I enjoyed it). Though I did feel compelled to lie when people asked me about my Christmas plans. People would start with "Are you visiting family over Christmas?" and when I said no a look of horror crossed their face as they said "You're not spending it alone are you?". I immediately responded with "Oh no, I'll be spending time with friends". I didn't want to get into the whole reassurance that I was fine on my own. As an only child, being alone has never bothered me nor frightened me. I'm quite comforted by the fact that I'm o.k with it. People will spend the holidays in all sorts of situations like being surrounded by loved ones, surrounded by the tolerated loved ones or alone. I spent Christmas with someone I love - me.

My traditional trip to my Dad's was called off due to weather and timing so instead I intend to rest and come up with some goals until I go back to work on the 29th. I'm taking the 30th off to do a little Christmas shopping for me.

I find myself doing a lot of reflection lately perhaps it's the timing of the end of the year. I feel bad about falling off the wagon of the biggest loser challenge. I had a life intervention but I'm so proud of the group and their successes. 

This year was a bit topsy turvy especially over the last few months. I honestly believe many many things happened for the best. Especially the new job, though being unemployed is stressful I wound up in a fantastic place. I've had difficulty getting a schedule for workouts and a plan for food in place but I think I've got that figured out now that my travel schedule will be a bit more consistent.

I've now gotten to know a few of new co-workers and one day about a month ago I went for a glass of wine with a few one day after work. Over conversation they asked if I was married and I said no I'm single. They told me I looked settled. Settled? What does that mean? Comfortable, easy going or could it be frumpy? They then began suggesting a makeover at MAC and a new hair cut (though I had just had a new hair cut). 
Hmm...I wasn't insulted but rather found the whole conversation quite funny because I consider myself  a work in progress.

I think the priority is for me to work on the inside before I work on the outside. First of all I need to get this whole weight loss thing sorted from a mental perspective. I need to understand what causes me to go wrong. I need to make exercise a priority even if it takes me 2.5 hours to get home. I've certainly not been happy with the scale going in the wrong direction but I also know the only person responsible for that is myself. I do know I can talk the talk of weight loss but now I must walk the walk.

I think I get too big with goals and need to make them more smaller and more realistic. A challenge but doable, you know what I mean?

Even thought the world seems to swirling right now with the economy and the weather, I hope you take a minute to appreciate what you do have and know that you can control your own destiny even when it doesn't feel like you can.


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