I'm back.....

It's been a ridiculously long time since I've posted.

My primary reason for being away so long is just a general sense of ennui.

I get up and go to work and then come home and repeat.
Haven't been to the gym in a long time. I've brought my gym bag to work and then right back home because I'm tired, or I worked later or it's raining. Really the excuses have been uber pathetic. I think I might be having a mini midlife crisis, that just came to me actually. I have goals and aspirations and I'm super disappointed in myself.

I also forgive myself, this is a period of my life where certain truths are coming to rest in my head. I'm approaching 45 and still single with no kids, heck I'm probably too old to actually have kids. It's not that I'm lonely actually far from that. I'm learning to embrace my introvertness and instead of a lifetime of feeling less then everyone else realizing that I'm my own super hero. I guess I'm finding my own voice and path. The adjusting to being the adult orphan.

It's funny I posted on facebook about being an adult orphan and a gracious amount of friends posted I wasn't an orphan I had them. Of couse I know that but when I say adult orphan I mean no parents and of course I'm an only child. The enormity of things hit me more then they used to like dealing with Dad's house and dealing with decisions that I have to choose to bounce off of. Like my fridge issue.

My fridge died, it had a good life but I only realized it was dying when I found milk going bad at a fast pace and stuff at the front of my freezer was defrosting. My instinct was to call Dad, but of course I can't. I had to deal with this on my own. So I researched and measured to ensure I got a fridge that fits under a cabinet.

This also caused me to pretty much throw everything out and had to start using the bar fridge in the basement. The good part I get far more stairs in. The new one doesn't get here until the 9th, which isn't too bad. I've been using the bar fridge for the past 2 weeks and it could have been a 6 weeks in total. I cleaned the old one and unplugged it and didn't realize it had been leaking until I found a massive puddle of water under the fridge, which caused tiles to lift and all I had was swearing running through my head. Dad would know what to do. I had to wing it.

I got all that sorted. I MacGyver'd a solution and think I'm ready for the new fridge to get here on the 9th. I am good in a crisis.

I have yet to embraced the SmartPoint version of Weightwatchers, in fact I've been acting like a rebellious teenager. The thing is I do see people being succesful on this plan so what is my hang up. Let's see I inconsistently track and often blow through my points...my hang up is me. It's silly if I was brand new I'd be embracing the rules and trying to follow them. Is it because I preferred other plans or just tired of having weightloss as a goal?

I have been eating out more and have gradually seen pounds add up that I'm now just a few pounds away from my original start weight, when I joined Weightwatchers for the first time. This shows how dangerous I can be when I cease to track all together. There's only one way to go when you hit rock bottom and that's up.

My pity party is officially over. I'm reading State of Slim as it was recommended by someone I admire and where I live is hella above sea level just like Colorado. I'm going back to tracking and training starting tomorrow so consider this blog back on track. I'm embracing bullet journalling and ridiculously excited about it.

No weigh in tomorrow as I'm going to a golf tournament for the first time ever.

I'm using a new laptop so pictures are downloading from home so I do promise less manifesto posts :)

Happy to be back and hugs!

First one!

At today's WW meeting, my leader introduced the rotating tracker. Our mission track your week & end it with a positive statement or experience for the next person. 

When she asked for a volunteer my hand shot up. What better way to get more focused? 

After I posted yesterday I realized I had 8 weeks in the my 12 week tracker. I can accomplish quite a bit in 8 weeks if I set my mind to it. 

I was down .8 this week so feeling positive going into the week as well. 

Today will be sorting out the meal plan for next week. I do have Monday off so it will be short week. 

I have a mindset shift in a very positive way. 

Happy Easter!

Looks like an accordion

My weigh in tracking spreadsheet that is or maybe it looks more like those machines that show heartbeats.

When I was last here I talked about vicious circles, well I can't say I've made too much progress on that front and I'm not sure why.

I know what to do. I need to track, plan and workout. I track but usually after the day is done and I've gone over points. I do workout though to do being crazy at work this week I missed classes. Yes it was a 4 day week that still had 5 days of work to get done.

On the job front I was hired permanently so super excited about that. The position started as a Mat Leave coverage contract but now I'm an official employee and couldn't be more delighted. I love what I do, I love the people I work with and I love the groups I support.

Another race is only a few weeks away and though I had my fastest half marathon time at the Star Wars Half in Disneyland it still got me into one of the last corrals at the Darkside Half Marathon at Disney World. Well to be honest I don't care where I start as long as I finish.

One of my friends and I are planning a day trip to Universal Studios while in Florida to check out Diagon Alley and all things Harry Potter...I'm so excited.

So on the weight loss front I did have a loss last Saturday but the receptionist at WW said something interesting to me. She said that I've had a lot of ups and downs lately. Now at first I thought she was talking about the accordion of weigh ins but she was referring to those 7 races in 11 days in January, the new job and before that dealing with unemployment. So yes that's true there were some ups and downs. Today I was looking at 3 month tracker. I have 8 weeks left in this book. A lot can happen in 8 weeks. So I'm setting a goal of 20lbs down in 8 weeks. If I do it I'll get my myself the new FitBit Blaze. That's the deal with myself.

I'm not going to promise to post more as clearly I fail at that every time. I do appreciate everyone's support and this amazing community of positivity out there.

I so adore my WW peeps, it's like having a crew in a weird sort of way. Though I look forward to seeing them every Saturday.

Now the plus I have been tracking so now the goal is stay within my points. I've done this before and I can do it again. I never forget that I intend to attempt that Dopey Challenge again in 2017. I need to be fitter to be faster.

So bring it.

I want to wish you all a Happy Easter!

Viscous Circles

For the past few weeks I was getting back in to the groove of weight loss. I do love the new SmartPoints & the Beyond the Scale plan at Weight Watchers. 

I love it because we now use sugar in the points calculation. Sugar was my issue. While I haven't completely eliminated it I am much more conscious of it. 

Now while the last few weeks have been awesome that wasn't the case this week. 

Why does this happen? 

It's annoying & has me digging out my Beck Diet book as I think I need some help with cognitive training. 

This week I was sniffly and tired. It made me far less diligent. I wanted sleep & not the gym. Under the weather happens. Why didn't I suck it up instead of letting it drag me down? 

It has been awhile since I felt under the weather. I feel disappointed with myself. Like I take two steps forward and one step back. A habit takes time I can't lose focus now. I won't give up or throw in the towel. 

I'm not sure what the scale will say at weigh in tomorrow but I am bound & determined to get this ship going in the right direction. I feel better today which is good. Banishing the negative & focusing on the positive. 

I got this. 

Hello 2016, yeah I'm totally late on that

I am officially the worst blogger ever. To all those who follow me I am so sorry.

However I'm back and ready to recommit to this blog.

Where I left of was setting some goals for 2016 and I'm still focused on those. I was also about to leave for Dopey and Star Wars races.

I'll start with Dopey, can I just say Florida weather is weird. Race morning weather ranged from 6 Celsius to 20 Celsius on Marathon Day.

Happily Windows 10 and I are now getting along so I could upload some pictures.

I have a tradition of collecting the RunDisney Vinylmations every year and I really love this year's set. Now last year it took me about 5 tries to get the more rare one which is a chance of 9/10. Incredibly I got the rare one on the first try at Disney World and the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend Expo

 My next mission was to go to Hollywood Studios and check all the new Star Wars stuff. Really geeked out with I saw the AT-AT Walker

Got a picture with Chewie and gave him my condolences

This dude tried to mug me but I fought back :)

 Couldn't resist upgrading my magicband for Captain Phasma

 I desperately wanted the Force Awakens Dooney and Burke tote and got the last one at Watto's Grotto while there.

 Race Day One came bright and early which would turn into 4 days of Groundhog day of getting up in the wee hours of the morning. This was the morning of 6c.

 Race Day Two - The 10K and it pretty much rained the entire time.

 Race Day 3 - Half Marathon Day and I went back to Epcot which is where each race started in the parking lot.

 Morning of Race Day 4 - The marathon. It was 20c at 3am, I had a bad feeling about this day.

 I will admit I was freaked out about this race as I knew I wasn't prepared. My longest run before this weekend was in November. If I finished I knew it would be a miracle. Well I didn't finish. I was swept at Mile 20. I was upset but I knew I gave all I could get. I was pretty good up to the midway point but then it all fell apart and I could feel myself getting slower and slower. At one point I saw one of the bike pacers with the orange flag on the back and I knew I was in trouble. I was 3 minutes ahead of the Balloon ladies at that point and then 1 minute ahead and then they passed me. When I saw the chain of golf carts coming I knew I was finished. The minute I got on the cart the other people in the cart gave me a huge congratulations of making it this far.

We then transferred to a van and that's when I started to tear up, I had tears in my eyes when we got off at the finish line. The volunteer hung the Marathon medal around my neck and said they were proud of me. I managed to keep it together until I got back to the hotel and then there was a flood of tears. I had a few minutes of pitty party and then I vowed to return in 2017 to finish what I started.
Oh yes I will back to complete Dopey.

 Was disappointed to discover All Star Sports no longer served the big Mickey Waffle but I had my traditional post runs breakfast.

 I had a 5th morning of very very very early wake up day as I was off to Los Angeles and to Disneyland for the Rebel Challenge. The first thing I found at World of Disney in Anaheim was Dopey. I couldn't find him at Disney World anywhere. He came home with me to remind me of my goal to complete Dopey in 2017

Stopped by to consult with Lord Vader in Disneyland

At the race expo for Star Wars Half Marathon weekend I picked up the other RunDisney Vinylmation. :)

 As RunDisney will changing the Rebel Challenge to the Light Side Half Marathon in 2017 you could see the shift in the medals to reflect the Rebel side. Race number 5 - The 5K.

 Race number 6 - the 10K and they changed the course this year so it was tons of park time and loads of switch backs. I didn't mind the switch backs so much as it always let me know there were gobs of people behind me.

 I did develop an addiction to the Force Awakens Vinylmation in my visit to Disney World and Disneyland

 The entire medal haul of this trip including the first Coast to Coast of 2016. While I was completely dejected the week before after my failed marathon I turned myself around and had a blast at the Star Wars races.

Super fun stuff at the star area of the Star Wars Half Marathon. Do enjoy how my bib is so straight...hahaha. Miraculously I did my fastest Half Marathon since 2012 on Race Day number 7. It was crazy as I looked at my Garmin at mile 12 and realized my time I kind of booked it for the last mile. What a difference in a week. This Sunday I was delighted and my run mojo was back. 

 My crazy race vacation was at an end and I had to head home. One thing I love about heading home is flying over these mountains. The Canadian Rocky Mountains are absolutely incredible. 

So my next race is the Dark Side Challenge in April. 

This week I went back to BodyPump at GoodLife Fitness on Monday and it's been months since I've been to that class. It's called different things at different gyms but it's group class of weight exercises where you work on muscle group for a song. So there's a bicep track, a squat track and so on. It definitely kicked my patootie. I was super sore until yesterday where I was bracing myself before I stood up or sat down. I still feel it in my left thigh so I know I overdid something. I'll be back at that class on Monday. 

Now while I lost 6.8lbs over the past two weeks. I blew it this week. I'd like to blame the new bakery/ bistro that opened around the corner from work but my diligence went out the window this week. It just teaches me how easy it is to slip into bad habits. I'll go to weigh in tomorrow and accept whatever number it shows me and double down the effort. I will much lighter for Dopey 2017. Heck I will be lighter for Dark Side dang it. 

So I say bring it and what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger. 

Type to you soon....