It's been a ridiculously long time since I've posted.
My primary reason for being away so long is just a general sense of ennui.
I get up and go to work and then come home and repeat.
Haven't been to the gym in a long time. I've brought my gym bag to work and then right back home because I'm tired, or I worked later or it's raining. Really the excuses have been uber pathetic. I think I might be having a mini midlife crisis, that just came to me actually. I have goals and aspirations and I'm super disappointed in myself.
I also forgive myself, this is a period of my life where certain truths are coming to rest in my head. I'm approaching 45 and still single with no kids, heck I'm probably too old to actually have kids. It's not that I'm lonely actually far from that. I'm learning to embrace my introvertness and instead of a lifetime of feeling less then everyone else realizing that I'm my own super hero. I guess I'm finding my own voice and path. The adjusting to being the adult orphan.
It's funny I posted on facebook about being an adult orphan and a gracious amount of friends posted I wasn't an orphan I had them. Of couse I know that but when I say adult orphan I mean no parents and of course I'm an only child. The enormity of things hit me more then they used to like dealing with Dad's house and dealing with decisions that I have to choose to bounce off of. Like my fridge issue.
My fridge died, it had a good life but I only realized it was dying when I found milk going bad at a fast pace and stuff at the front of my freezer was defrosting. My instinct was to call Dad, but of course I can't. I had to deal with this on my own. So I researched and measured to ensure I got a fridge that fits under a cabinet.
This also caused me to pretty much throw everything out and had to start using the bar fridge in the basement. The good part I get far more stairs in. The new one doesn't get here until the 9th, which isn't too bad. I've been using the bar fridge for the past 2 weeks and it could have been a 6 weeks in total. I cleaned the old one and unplugged it and didn't realize it had been leaking until I found a massive puddle of water under the fridge, which caused tiles to lift and all I had was swearing running through my head. Dad would know what to do. I had to wing it.
I got all that sorted. I MacGyver'd a solution and think I'm ready for the new fridge to get here on the 9th. I am good in a crisis.
I have yet to embraced the SmartPoint version of Weightwatchers, in fact I've been acting like a rebellious teenager. The thing is I do see people being succesful on this plan so what is my hang up. Let's see I inconsistently track and often blow through my points...my hang up is me. It's silly if I was brand new I'd be embracing the rules and trying to follow them. Is it because I preferred other plans or just tired of having weightloss as a goal?
I have been eating out more and have gradually seen pounds add up that I'm now just a few pounds away from my original start weight, when I joined Weightwatchers for the first time. This shows how dangerous I can be when I cease to track all together. There's only one way to go when you hit rock bottom and that's up.
My pity party is officially over. I'm reading State of Slim as it was recommended by someone I admire and where I live is hella above sea level just like Colorado. I'm going back to tracking and training starting tomorrow so consider this blog back on track. I'm embracing bullet journalling and ridiculously excited about it.
No weigh in tomorrow as I'm going to a golf tournament for the first time ever.
I'm using a new laptop so pictures are downloading from home so I do promise less manifesto posts :)
Happy to be back and hugs!
